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Are you doing ALEX? There’s no better way to GET FIT!

THE BRAND NEW FITNESS REGIME EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT

It seems as if the whole of UK derby has taken up the so-called ‘Alex’ form of fitness training over the past few months. UKDerby.com speaks to the regime’s UK Queen Bitch (the company’s own term) HAYZIE AYRE about what exactly ‘Alex’ offers…

Hi there. We personally know a lot of UK derby players. Most of them work out pretty hard, both in group sessions and individually. What exactly does ‘Alex’ offer that other fitness regimes don’t? Well pant for starters pant the ALEX – or ALways EXercise – regime is the only 24 hours a day, seven days a week regime in the world puff pant so it’s a regime for people who are seriously serious about their fitness.

That’s very interesting. Could you possibly stop jumping up and down and doing star jumps during this interview? No.

It’s a little bit distracting. That’s your problem pant not mine.

Fair enough. So can you summarise the ‘Alex’ method for us? Just exercise puff twenty-four hours a day. Any time pant you aren’t exercising is puff time wasted.

What exactly do you mean by that? Say you are on a bus puff pant and it’s five minutes until your stop puff you should spend those five minutes running up and pant down the stairs on the bus.

That sounds like it might annoy other passengers. Also, if you’re that keen on exercising, why take the bus? There are no puff stairs on trains.

Why not walk? There are no pant stairs on pavements.

Er, OK. How does any of this relate to roller derby? Basically puff pant to be at the peak of your physical condition in any sport, you pant need to puff be exercising constantly. For only £29.99 a month puff pant we will explain this to any roller dollies in detail.

Exercise constantly? Even when you’re asleep? Yes. Wiring up puff a rotating wheel above your bed pant with your feet strapped to puff pant the pedals ensures not even a second of sleep time puff will be a second without exercise.

This all sounds a bit weird. No it doesn’t pant it’s brilliant puff pant really it is puff ah hell pant who am I trying to kid puff please kill me puff pant kill me now.

Does your league run ‘Alex’ sessions? If so, let UKDerby.com know if you think they have helped you as a player/team.

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